Brad McConahay

Goodbye “Trivial Hate”, hello “Beat Frequency”.

A few people whose opinions I trust in these matters (rbw, dsk) have been starting to use Wordpress for blogging, so I thought I might give it a whirl.

I’m also tired of having a blog dedicated only to trivial annoyances. Rather than keep multiple blogs, I figure I’ll just roll Trivial Hate into this new site, minus the user comments.

So if previous posts seem excessively whiney, keep in mind that they came from a place where excessively whiney was the theme of the day.

Goodbye Trivial Hate, I hardly knew ye!
(and I hardly posted to ye, either)

There’s only one place left in the universe that requires me to pay with a paper check, and it’s a place at which I have no choice but to pay. The local tax office. So I to continue to buy checks. I probably would anyway. They’re bound to come in handy for the odd situation where the bank’s ATM system sputters.

So as not to be anything other than thrifty, I always buy the cheapest checks available. “Gimme the cheapest checks ya got”, I literally say. In past years, this meant powder blue, light green, or puke yellow Charlie-Brown-shirt-striped checks. Highly spartan. No problem, they could be made of paper bag for all I care. As long as they don’t have Nazi propaganda or ethnic slurs on them, I’m thrilled.

After all these years, the cheap check philosophy finally failed.

This time, cheapness got me Scooby Doo.

Do you know anybody old enough to write checks who would be so into Scooby Doo as to buy the checks? Of course not. I mean, even if I had a really tiny kid who had his own checking account for some reason, I wouldn’t get him Scooby checks. I’d get him South Park checks.

So of course, I wouldn’t be so vain as to not use the checks to pay this quarter’s tax installment. But I did leave a small note in the memo area. “These checks were cheap.”

I might’ve gotten away with decent checks if it weren’t for those meddling kids and their dog…

I just saw a piece on the morning news where people from the armpit of Hamilton!, OH were in a city council meeting complaining that their snow wasn’t removed quickly enough for them. Perhaps it had something to do with the RECORD SETTING SNOWFALL. People all over the place dealt with abnormal conditions because of the RECORD SETTING SNOWFALL.

They showed footage of a lady explaining how she asked a plow driver what the problem was. He told her she was mad at the wrong people, and that she should be mad at god since he dumped all the snow. And with a gleam in her eye, you knew that only the most clever retort was to follow … she replied that “god isn’t on the city payroll!” This was met with resounding whiney applause from the other whiney citizens at the meeting. This conversation alone probably dropped the collective I.Q. of southwest Ohio by at least a few points. And we don’t need that.

Idea: Expanding the Rumpke landfill in the Colerain area is a hot topic right now. How about we just move it right up the road to Hamilton! instead.

If I were the boss of Hamilton!, I would fire those citizens immediately and replace them with cheaper and smarter outsourced citizens from the far east. You know, the far east… Clermont County.